David R. MacIver's Blog

You're walking wrong

This post was originally published at notebook.drmaciver.com.

This started out life as an extended metaphor for how we treat people’s support mechanisms in general, but I think it works pretty well on a literal reading too.

Note that I am essentially able-bodied (minor caveats only), but I did check this post with a cane user before publishing it.

A: Hey, you over there, the one walking! You’re doing it wrong.

B: Excuse me?

A: You’re using a cane! You shouldn’t do that!

B: …

A: You should be walking with your own two feet, like a normal person!

B: I will fall over if I do that.

A: Have you tried?

B: Yes. I fell over.

A: Maybe you should try harder?

B: That would cause me to fall over harder.

A: You just need more practice! The problem is, you’re using the cane as a crutch.

B: Well, technically a cane and a crutch are different assistive devices. You see a crutch-

A: I mean you’re using your cane to support your weight.

B: It’s more about stability, but yes that’s what it’s for.

A: You should be using your legs to do that!

B: I literally can’t. I have a torn ligament in my ankle. It will not hold my weight properly.

A: That’s no excuse. You should fix that then!

B: I am on a waiting list for surgery, yes.

A: Well if you know how to fix it, why are you using that cane?

B: Because I haven’t had the surgery yet and I need to walk now.

A: But what if your cane is made with conflict minerals?

B: Uh, is it?

A: I don’t know, did you even check?

B: Not really, no. Who made your shoes?

A: (waves hand dismissively) oh who cares about that? Everyone wears shoes. You’re wearing shoes. But your cane might be made with conflict minerals, and I don’t have one of those.

B: In the grand scheme of things I don’t think canes are a significant contributor to global conflict.

A: But it’s all of our responsibility to care about these things! You should be more responsible in how you walk.

B: OK. If we’re all responsible, would you like to pay for me to be able to have my surgery sooner?

A: No, it’s your responsibility to do that too.

B: …

A: Anyway, have you tried yoga?